Legendary Annoyances
by Faline Owlight
Summary: All hell breaks loose when 5 girls land in middle earth.


Five whackos in Middle Earth  
  
Ch.1  
  
"You guys came from the gym didn't you?' Sierra asked. She messed with her shoulder length blond hair and fiddled with her glasses. She'd better not ask me to go to the gym again. She knows I don't like going to the gym. I'll exercise at home.  
  
"Yeah. Where did you think we came from the moon." Kristen said sarcastically with a grin. The older blonde with long hair waited for her friend to reply. She was fairly skinny. About seventeen and athletic. Wonder if I'll be able to get Sierra to go to the gym with me?  
  
"Actually I thought you came from Mars." Sierra said playing it back.  
  
"Nope. Sorry. I came from whatever planet Carrot and Marron Glace live on." Kristen grinned  
  
"I came from Middle Earth." Jenn said continuing the joke. Easily the youngest of the group of friends with superlong blond hair. I'll bet my hair could beat Legolas' anyday. Man I should lay out a bit tomorrow.  
  
"What about you Ashley?" Kristen asked with a smile.  
  
"I came from Earth, but its the one in the DBZ Universe." Ashley said. The middle aged one of the group with short dark blonde. She was skinny but would never admit it. I think I'll ask Kristen to go to the cottage this weekend. I could use a tan.  
  
"Sierra?" Kristen asked with a mischievous grin.  
  
"I came from Piccolo." Sierra grinned.  
  
"Piccolo isn't a planet." Ashley replied.  
  
The five whackos continued down the hallway. It was eerily quiet. No other kids around.  
  
"Ya think we missed a convo." Jenny vocalized.  
  
"Looks like it." Kristen looking for any sign of life.  
  
Suddenly a large black whole opened in the floor sending the startled teenagers through a portal to Middle Earth. It was all black until they came out of the portal and fell ten feet to the ground. Sierra landed on a poor unsuspecting elf. Kristen landed on the hard pavement and Jenn and Ashley landed on top of them. The Fellowship and the rest of the elves stood back from the strangers. All staring in disbelief. Kristen and Ashley pushed other girl off. The elf Sierra had landed on whimpered. When she stood up the elf ran over to Elrond.  
  
"Darn that hurt." Ashley moaned as she stood up.  
  
"Shut up. " Kristen growled.  
  
"In your dreams!" Ashley growled.  
  
"Don't start with me." Kristen said threateningly.  
  
"I will if I darn well please." Ashley growled and attacked.  
  
The elves watched as the two girls dropped their bags and started to fight. Sierra and Jenn watched not wanting to get involved. Jenn looked around and realized that she recognized many of those around her.  
  
"Kristen." Jenn said.  
  
"What?" Kristen asked.  
  
"Kick her butt so I can ask you something." Jenn said  
  
With that Kristen kicked her adversary in the butt knocking her to the ground. Gandalf, Elrond, Galadriel, and Celeborn all decided that they should ask the strangers some questions.  
  
"Is it me or did we land in Middle Earth with the cute elf guy?" Jenn inquired mischeviously.  
  
"Your right shortstuff." Kristen replied with a evil smile.  
  
Jenn, although shorter than Kristen, glared daggers at her. Trying in vain to get her to quit calling her that. Behind them the other girls giggled and talked.  
  
"Look at the cute little hobbits." Ashley giggled.  
  
"Oh god here we go again." Sierra moaned.  
  
"Jenn pull your shirt down." Kristen told her lifelong friend.  
  
Sure enough the little blonde's shirt had gone a little higher than she would have liked. Blushing she pulled her shirt down quickly. Elrond was the first to speak. The elves were quickly overcoming their fear of the strangers. Elrond was the first to be won over by his curiosity. "Excuse me." Elrond said loudly.  
  
"Sorry. Is elfboy ok?" Kristen asked referring to the elf standing behind Elrond.  
  
"I will live." Legolas said in his too sweet tone.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Elornd asked.  
  
"I don't know. My friends and I were walking through our school and somehow we ended up here." Ashley answered.  
  
"You did not mean to come here?" Elrond asked cocking an eyebrow.  
  
"No. We were trying to get to lunch." Sierra said sadly.  
  
"Do you ever think with anything besides your stomach?" Kristen asked genuinely curious.  
  
"It depends." Sierra replied indignantly.  
  
"And you call me a whiner." Ashley grinned.  
  
"I never said she wasn't now did I?" Kristen inquired with a grin.  
  
"No." Ashley admitted.  
  
"HEY!!!" Sierra growled.  
  
"They're never quiet. Feel free to interrupt them any time."Jenn told Elrond.  
  
When Elrond looked at her she poked her friends and shut them up. Elrond began by introducing himself.  
  
"I am Elrond Evenstar. The Lord of Rivendell."Elrond began to say.  
  
"Nice going Sierra you landed on Legolas."Kristen and Ashley growled.  
  
"How do you know my name?" Legolas asked stunned.  
  
"You'll probably find out later Leggy." Kristen said.  
  
"Please don't call me that." Legolas asked nicely.  
  
"Why not? Oh well I'll try not to, but I can't promise you I won't call you that at all." Kristen informed Legolas.  
  
"Thank you my lady." Legolas said a bit embarrassed.  
  
"I suggest that you stop laughing at Legolas before I call you something that's so nice Gimli!" Kristen and Ashley growled in unison.  
  
Gimli stopped laughing and looked away. Aragorn and the others smiled. It was not every day that a stubborn dwarf was silenced by a pair of human females. The hobbits laughed.  
  
"Do you know anyone else's name." Galadriel asked.  
  
"Quite a few if I'm correct." Kristen replied.  
  
"Would you care to say there names." Galadriel asked.  
  
"Your Galadriel the elf next to you is Celeborn the istari's name is Gandalf. Aragorn is next to Arwen. Glorifindel is next to them. The next two elves are Elladan and Elrohir. Bilbo's sitting on the ground next to them then Frodo and Sam and Merry and Pippin and Haldir." Kristen said with a smile.  
  
The jaws of everyone, except the other girls that had been transported, dropped. Kristen stood with a triumphant grin. Everyone tried to regain their composure. Suddenly Sierra dashed off into the forest. Kristen shook her head in embarrassment.  
  
"Where is your friend going?" Elrond asked.  
  
"Probably looking for food. She does this sort of thing a lot."Kristen said  
  
"She does?" Celeborn asked.  
  
"Yes. Unfortunately." Ashley answered.  
  
"Maybe I should have told her that I had some fruit and stuff with me." Kristen thought aloud.  
  
"YOU HAVE FOOD?" Merry and Pippin asked in unison.  
  
"Pippin Took!Merriodoc Brandybuck!" Frodo scolded a bit harshly.  
  
"What?" Pippin asked clueless as usual.  
  
"Frodo we're hungry." Merry complained.  
  
"Did you ever think to ask the elves for food?" Frodo asked.  
  
"I knew we were forgetting something!" Merry said blushing a little.  
  
"Sorry about that." Frodo said kindly.  
  
"That's quite alright." Kristen and Ashley said in unison.  
  
"What happened to your manners?" Frodo said to his cousins.  
  
"Manners? What are they? Are they good" Pippin asked happily.  
  
"Sam." Frodo said quietly.  
  
"Yes sir?" Sam asked just as quietly.  
  
"Would you mind explaining manners to Pippin? He's starting to give me a headache." Frodo told Sam.  
  
"Your not the only one getting a headache from his stupidity. And I'm not meaning only me master Frodo. Look at Gandalf, Elrond, Celeborn and Haldir."Sam whispered.  
  
"Gandalf?" Haldir asked.  
  
"What is it Haldir?" Gandalf asked.  
  
"How did that hobbit survive?" Haldir asked.  
  
"I myself am starting to wonder."Gandalf replied.  
  
"I wonder how Gandalf survived taking care of him for... How many weeks?" Frodo asked.  
  
"Gandalf's lived a lot longer than us. I think he's learned how to cope with people like Pip." Sam said with a grin.  
  
"Poor Gandalf!" Frodo said with a laugh.  
  
"His poor frayed nerves!" Sam said trying not to laugh.  
  
"Oh my. And I thought he was clueless in the movie." Kristen said to Jenny.  
  
"Yeah. Luck is how he survived." Jenny said  
  
"I can see Gandalf living in a small comfortable room for years after this." Ashley laughed.  
  
"Gandalf looks as distraught as he was when he was trying to get you to leave elves of the conversation." Frodo whispered.  
  
"Frodo Baggins." Gandalf scolded with a smile.  
  
"Sorry. I couldn't help it." Frodo said laughing.  
  
"This is going to be interesting!"Ashley said with a grin.  
  
"I need a bath." Kristen commented.  
  
"So do we." the group of friends replied.  
  
"Elrond?" Kristen asked. "Yes my lady." Elrond said nicely.  
  
"Is there any chance we could bathe ourselves?" Kristen asked with a pleading look.  
  
"Of course." Elrond smiled.  
  
"I will take them them the bathes." Galadriel said to Elrond.  
  
..................  
  
" I love a nice bath. I really needed it." Kristen replied.  
  
"Your not the only one that needed a bath."Ashley giggled."After all we must smell nice so we don't scare of any of the elves."  
  
"Are boys all you ever think about Ashley?" Jenn asked.  
  
"No Thinking about boys is just a hobby." Ashley grinned.  
  
"So what do think of them?" Ashley asked.  
  
"Legoles is cute." The others replied dreamily.  
  
SNAP!!!!!!  
  
"Pippin." Merry growled.  
  
"Sorry." Pippin apologized.  
  
Suddenly large rocks that had been near the girls started flying at the hobbits. Four of them hit their mark.  
  
"RUN!" Merry yelled.  
  
"HELP!" Pippin cried  
  
"I know two hobbits who are going to die." Jenny growled.  
  
"I'm going to tell Gandalf." Kristen said. "Good idea. Gandalf will get them." stated Ashley. ............  
  
All of a sudden a large portal, similar to the one the four girls fell through, appeared above the elves. "Aiiee!"  
  
A female figure fell on top of Elrond, her excessively long brown hair covering her face. Appearing to be knocked out, she laid sprawled across the elven lord. The appeared to be someone Kristen knew.  
  
"Juls?" Kristen asked cautiously.  
  
The pale jean clad figure slowly rose off of Elrond.  
  
"Owwch. My head hurts... "  
  
The girl brushed her crazy hair out her face, revealing that it was indeed Julie, complete with crooked glasses, 14 pound bookbag and all. Julie started crying her eyes out as she ran to her proverbial big sister.  
  
"Chocolate-chan! I've gone insane! I'm dreaming that I'm in Rivendale and landed on my favorite elf! I need a hug..." Julie bawled as she was hugged by Kristen, while the other girls just stare.  
  
Kristen smiled faintly and looked at Julie, fixing her glasses and drying her tears.  
  
"This is no dream. We're in Rivendale, just ask anyone here." She pointed to the group gathered around them.  
  
"O-oh my goodness...L-lord Elrond, I'm so sorry for crushing you! Please forgive me." Julie cowered.  
  
"At least you did not land on me," Legolas said, laughing softly.  
  
"What is the meaning of this!" Elrond growled.  
  
"Look at it this way. At least you were special enough to be landed on." Kristen said smirking behind Gandalf.  
  
"Please forgive me." Julie asked pleading on her knees.  
  
"Yes you're forgiven." Elrond sighed.  
  
Julie thought in her head, You had better, cause it wasn't my fault!  
  
"And you girl. Come here." Elrond demanded.  
  
"Make me elfie!" Kristen said clutching Gandalf tightly and sticking out her tongue.  
  
"Do you mind young lady?" Gandalf said looking down at the trouble maker.  
  
"Not at all Gandy." Kristen replied sweetly.  
  
All the while the others started cracking up. Poor Arwen had fallen on the ground from laughing so hard. The hobbits were now laughing so hard that their faces were turning red. Even the normally sullen ranger was doing his best not to laugh at his step father.  
  
Julie ran to Arwen and her eyes widened.  
  
"Oh my goodness...You're really Lady Arwen! Oh, you're so much prettier in real life!" Julie gushed. Arwen beamed at the compliment.  
  
In the corner, Jenn narrowed her eyes, watching the scene and contemplating their strange posistion.  
  
"Alright! Enough of this! Don't any of you find this to be strange?! 5 human girls just happen to wind up in an unwritten book and for no good reason. Isn't that odd to you?!" she shouted, shaking her thin frame of a body. Julie and Ashley nodded. Taking off her backpack, Julie helped Lady Arwen up and looked into the sky.  
  
"Yes, this is strange. This is too a la Fushigi Yuugi, if you ask me. I mean, I don't know how you four got here, but I got sucked into this big black hole in my bedroom." Julie uttered.  
  
"Well, we were sucked into a big hole, too, but it was in the school hallway. Speaking of which, why weren't you in school today?" asked Ashley. Julie pulled out a doctor's notice, showing her written illness. The flu, again. This girl has the weakest constitution, thought Kristen.  
  
"Anyway, now that I think about it, this was never in the book. So, I know we weren't sucked into The Lord of the Rings. Could it be that this is truly a parallel universe?" Kristen thought out loud.  
  
"What this parallel universe thingy?" Frodo asked with his big blue eyes twinkling in wonder.  
  
"Yes, please enlighten us. What is a parallel universe?" asked Merry. Julie rolled her eyes and looked at Kristen.  
  
"Are they this ignorant in the book?" Julie inquired.  
  
"Julie, they don't have our technology. Don't make fun!" Kristen growled defending all who lived in Middle Earth.  
  
"Well, they have wizards and the such, they know about this stuff. Don't you, Gandalf?" chimed in Ashley. Kristen glared again, but Gandalf just sat there with no expression.  
  
"Young ladies, I don't know what you speak of, or why you are here. All I know is that you dress strangely, carry around enormous sachels," pointing to Julie's backpack, " And speak differently from us. I think it will help us more if you tell us where you come from, so we can work on returning you to your world." Gandalf resolved in a strong voice.  
  
"Well fine. If you wanted us to leave you could have just said so!" Kristen yelled then strode off. Jenn ran after her, on the verge of tears. Sierra shook her head reprovingly and munched on one of Kristen's apples.  
  
"I did not mean to insult your friends. I just thought you'd like to go home." Gandalf explained. Julie threw her head back and laughed at the wizard.  
  
"Are you serious?! Like we'd want to go back to middle-class, white suburban life! You see, Rivendale is so much better than Indiana, USA. It's prettier, calmer, and just all around cooler. Plus, we all love elves!" Julie pointed out, reaching into her bag and pulled out her term papers.  
  
"You see these, sweety? If we stay here, we'lll never have to do these again!" Julie laughed triumphantly, ripped it up and then grabbed a peach in her front pocket. A green worm was crawling in it, distgusting her. She hurled that thing away from her, unknowingly straight at Gandalf. Strider held his breath.  
  
"Here it comes...She's a dead girl." whispered Bilbo.  
  
Gandalf's face was covered in peachy mush and he wasn't too thrilled about it. He raised his staff and turned the unfortunate girl into a monkey.  
  
"If you insist on acting like a monkey, you shall take the form of one!" shouted a red-faced Gandalf.  
  
"Turn her back or die you old fart!" Kristen screeched while strangling the wizard.  
  
The others just stared in shock. Arwen couldn't help but grin. Serves him right.This will teach him not to turn anyone into an animal again. He should have learnt that when dad almost killed him for turning me into a fox.  
  
After a bit of struggle for breath and control, Julie was back to her pale, human self. Gandalf huffed and puffed, catching his breath and slumped to the ground. Julie smiled and hid behind Kristen. She stuck her tongue out at him.  
  
"Loser!! You were ugly in the movie anyway!" Julie shouted. Jenn's eyes widened to a point that she didn't even know they could widen to. Sierra mumbled that he wasn't that ugly. Ashley just stood there, dumbfounded, like the hobbits.  
  
"You little idiot. Keep your mouth shut!" Kristen yelled as she and Julie dodged the wizard's attacks. Finally Kristen leapt at the wizard and knocked him out." That solves that problem."  
  
"For now." Sierra muttered.  
  
"You know you just made an enemy of the most powerful wizard in all of Middle Earth, you morons!" yelled Jenn while Ashley hung all over Legolas. "And give it a rest, Ashley! Legolas is NOT interested!"  
  
Julie and Kristen hung their heads down, saying they were sorry.  
  
"NOT!!!"Kristen yelled.  
  
"Alright young lady." Gandalf said menacingly.  
  
"Don't push me grandpa." Kristen retorted.  
  
"Your courage is commendable, but your using it the wrong way right now." Gandalf admonished.  
  
"Thank you Gandalf. Treat me nice and I'll be nice. Unless you mess with my friends." Kristen replied with a smile. Lord Elrond stood up and, in the most regal way possible, he commanded that they be silent.  
  
"Please, this is going nowhere. Let us leave this place and recollect ourselves. I will be assigning a guide for each of the young ladies to show them to their chambers." Lord Elrond looked around at the group, all the males beginning to pray that they don't have to take Ashley.  
  
"Alright, Gimli you take the one named Sierra."  
  
Sierra glared at Elrond and then pouted. "Why him?"  
  
"I will not. I'm a dwarf and I have morals." Gimli grumbled.  
  
"Like what Gimli? What would you prefer, a mudball with legs?" Kristen taunted. Elrond ignored them and continued.  
  
"Glorifindel will escort the lady with the long blond hair." Neither had an objection.  
  
"Now, since the one clinging to Legolas won't let go, he may escort her."  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Legolas cried in horror." And you call yourself an elf! Traitor!" Ashley rubbed up against him and smiled chessily.  
  
"What, baby? Don't you like meee?" she asked in an almost evil tone.  
  
Elrond choaked back his laughter. "Now, for the two 'sisters'. Aragorn will escort the loud one. Arwen, take the girl who keeps trying to get your attention." Arwen blinked and looked around. "What? Someone is trying to get my attention? Who?" she asked. Julie made a pouty face, about to cry. Arwen smiled and patted her head. "Oh, I'm sorry little one. I didn't know you were wanted to speak to me." Julie just sighed and everyone made their way from the alcove in which the meeting had been taking place.  
  
Gandalf turned his gaze to the remaining members. "Well, they certianly aren't what I expected. When I summoned for the 5 sorceresses of legend, I didn't think it would be those little children." Galadriel nodded solemnly.  
  
"Those girls must not know why they are here. You have done well so far, my friends," she said quietly,"Let us continue this way until we know the extent of their power. Good eve to you all." With that, Galadriel ascended the staircase and out of sight. ............................................................................ .............................................................. 


End file.
